If sitting down with a cup of coffee and hearing all the juicy, erotic and bizarre tales from a 10 year, veteren, phone sex operator sounds like an interesting afternoon to you; then you must pick up a copy of Miranda Austin’s “Phone Sex: Aural Thrills and Oral Skills.” From the moment I opened this book and read her introduction, “A Day in the Life,” I burst out laughing and knew I was in for a treat.
Miranda Austin is your typical phone sex operator in that she needed to make some extra cash and decided to do it because she can work from her home and the hours were very flexible. She’s older and doesn’t look anything like her sexy phone persona, Kristi. As Miranda puts it, Kristi is “my prettier, sexier, thinner, more adventurous alter ego,” but hey, she’s in the business of selling fantasies; but that’s where the stereotypical image ends, to me. Once Miranda started this eccentric and erotic journey, she really wanted to give her callers a quality experience. In fact, if she thought a caller, excluding the general kook and imbecile, hung up without being totally satisfied, she was rather disappointed. As you’ll discover, it’s not all about taking their money and running or trying to steal a husband or boyfriend and breakup a household, it’s about fulfilling a fantasy. Wow, a woman that genuinely wants to do a really good job as a phone sex operator and has a strict policy to keep a caller’s house and home together…Who would’ve thought?
And speaking of fantasies, I was amazed, disturbed, entranced and tickled pink by the laundry list of erotic, exotic and outlandish encounters men are willing to pay big bucks to experience over the phone. To my total and complete delight, more than half of this book is dedicated to relaying actual phone call transcripts. Miranda’s extraordinary writing style plays a large part in making this book so unique and extremely entertaining. Not only do you get to read what was actually said, but Miranda also includes her hidden thoughts, responses and reactions to each of her callers. You’ll hear how she struggled not to burst out laughing when a caller revealed that a German Shepard was licking her pussy. You’ll discover what a Microphile fantasy is and witness how Miranda was able to keep herself together and give that caller a quality experience and fulfill his fantasy. You’ll learn how, being a total submissive in her real sex life, Miranda tried to become a hardcore dominatrix in yet another phone sex persona and when she asked her boss how to really find out what the caller’s limits were, her boss graciously shared how she handles the situation.
“Then I say, ‘You have no limits? So it’s okay with you if I shit down your throat?’ They usually find some limits after that.”
I laughed, I squirmed and then I read these passages to as many friends as I could.
According to Miranda,
“One of the reasons I think I’m good at phone sex is that I seem to have the ability to find a way to make the fantasy work for both of us. I’m not always turned on by the same images as they are, but I can usually find an aspect of the fantasy that I like, and use that to get into it with them.”
The more I read this book, the more I found myself becoming surprisingly aroused by some of the more unconventional fantasies. There were parts where I would say to myself, “I can’t believe I’m actually finding this arousing” and I could almost understand what Miranda was saying.
Not only do you get the juicy transcripts, but Miranda also sprinkles in some very valuable information with the readers like what phone sex services to contact, what to expect when you make the call, how to prepare before hand to have a good phone sex experience. She also explains how to have a great phone sex experience with your lover and add a little dirty talk in your bedroom. All good quality information, and it doesn’t sound too instructional since it’s tossed in between all the dialogue. So the reader also comes out with some sex tips as well.
Although this book was a total and complete joy to read, I was a little disappointed by how the book abruptly ended. I believe it was supposed to be on a more humorous note at the end of a chapter appropriately titled “The Young and the Stupid.” After it had felt like Miranda was talking directly to me the entire time I was reading, there was no closing remarks. It just ended with a smart ass remark about the last “stupid” caller. I was at least expecting some kind of closing remark, maybe something like, “Even though I’ve gotten some kooks, some imbeciles and dealt with some really bizarre fantasies, I still loved my experience, etc. etc.” Unfortunately, there was nothing like that.
The back of the book explains that the following is geared toward singles and couples alike, but I became confused. Throughout most of the book, advice and technical information was geared towards the men that would call a phone sex operator. Then in Chapter 17 it seemed as though women were the main audience, with more specific instructions for them. So it got me thinking, maybe this book would have been better geared toward the women that are interested in becoming phone sex operators. I just find it difficult to believe that the men wanting to call these numbers would buy this book and even if they did, Ms. Austin’s honest revelations may make one feel leary about calling. I just think that more women, in general, would be interested in this book. Those that are generally curious and those that may be interested in becoming a phone sex operator. It certainly shows you what you’re up against, because after reading some of the passages, I don’t think in certain situations I could control my laughter or my disgust. So more power to Miranda Austin!
All in all, I would have to say that this book is marvelous! Once I picked it up I couldn’t put it down and even before I forced myself to do so, I would have to share some of Miranda’s quips and comments with my friends If you read this book just to be enlightened and broadened sexually, you abosolutely will be! If you want to know how the phone sex industry works, there’s a broad spectrum of information within. If you want to add some filthy talk into your sex life, the transcripts are all there, wrapped within one titallating page after the next. When I decided to read this book, I was anticipating that the industry and the personalities within would be revealed to me, and I do believe I got that and much, much more.